DESERT SESSION: A Letter to Josh Homme’s Daughter
Dear Camille,
I hear you were very upset with me after seeing the promo for this show, which I filmed recently with your Daddy and his friends. You saw me take Daddy’s guitar and smash it against a tree and I’m sure that was upsetting. That this was in fact a not so subtle homage to the early works of John Landis and John Belushi is something you could have hardly been expected to know, ANIMAL HOUSE having been released long before you were born, and I apologize.
Know that that was in fact, not really Daddy’s guitar, and that we were both just playing around. In real life, Daddy would have been very angry were I to do such a thing–and as he is a large man, I strongly suspect I would not still be here to write this letter. I like your Daddy very much. We are friends. Your Daddy was very nice to let me and my camera crew hang out with him all week at all his favorite places and to make totally awesome music for us.
I like your Daddy so much, that when an obnoxious superfan of mine at a magical place called Pappy and Harriet’s got up in Daddy’s face–had your Daddy not gently guided him by the thorax to the welcoming arms of security–I would have broken my beer glass across the man’s skull and then jabbed the jagged remnants into his ****ing neck. That’s the kind of guy I am. I had your Daddy’s back–just like he had mine. You will learn about these things later–possibly in grammar school.
When you watch the show, I hope there is nothing else in there that upsets you. You will surely see how completely brilliant Daddy is at work. You will hear a lot of great music. If you are a foodie, you will probably be terribly disappointed at the change of focus in this week’s episode, but at your tender age, I doubt that such a terrible thing as that could have befallen you. Life, for you, is still filled with hope and promise. Yes, Daddy seems to be drinking a lot of tequila on the show. But he never got drunk. Not that I saw anyway. He is a pretty good cook too–though this is something you surely know by now. I cook my daughter grilled cheese sandwiches. What does your Daddy cook you?
Sincerely,
Anthony
I have watched every episode of No Reservations all these years and let me tell you, this episode SUCKED! I don't give a rat's ass about any of the shit on that episode! WTF?! I didn't think anything could be worse than the Ozarks but this one was. Damn, thank goodness we had El Bulli or this season would rate as your worst. Well, ok, the African asshole episode was probably worse than the lousy food you showed on this one….
I see you have jumped on the "Kurdistan" hype bandwagon with your upcoming show. First of all, you mistakenly refer to Kurdistan as a country. It is not, only currently a semiautonomous province of Iraq, more correctly called Kurdish Iraq. There is also a Kurdish Turkey (Eastern Turkey) and Kurds in Syria. Kurdistan as a country exists only in their minds.
I spent two perfectly safe years there and the only thing that matches the monotony of the landscape is the monotony of the food. Kurds have no national cuisine . All you can get to eat is scrawny chicken and red meat a.k.a. "mystery meat" as it neither looks nor smells like beef or lamb and has a gray tinge to it and rotten vegetables imported from Turkey. All the restaurants are run by Lebanese or Turks, where you can get Turkish dishes made with-you guessed it-mystery meat and spend the rest of the night being sick.
I can't wait to see what kind of nonsense you've managed to cook up since that's the only thing you'll be cooking in Kurdistan.
I've been there too, and it's a decent place. You are just a cunt.
Any show with Zamire (sp?) is a show for me, love that guy!
Yeah Zmir is the Man he is Tonys #1 European contact! I love episodes with these 2 together !
Dear Tony,
Every now and then my staff and I gather in this room behind the med dispensary to watch TV and catch a break from the losers we treat here. I don't mind telling you that your show has been a real staff favorite, as we are all in to food here — it's really about the only thing left in life for us to enjoy(Unless there is binging or any other compulsive disorder involved.) Anyway, your latest episode in the Ukraine left me a little concerned about you. Do you really need to consume so much alcohol to get through your show? Why more then 2 glassed of vodka?
And I am not writing this because of the rumors that you and your crew were placing bets on which celebrity addict on our show would die next. No, it is because nearly every episode of your show contains one or more segments with you drinking – and lately your drinking has escalated greatly.
Let's face it Tony, you are a celebrity and that is what we are all about. Most addicts have to pay through the nose to spend a few weeks in a rehab comparable to ours — but you being a celebrity — we will pay you! You can even bring your little Zamfir buddy along. We have lots of musicians arriving and leaving here all the time.
As one cable star to another, just think about, okay?
AB, Please consider showcasing how school lunches are prepared and served around the world. How does a French school lunch compare to an American one, or a Brazilian one? There are so many facets to serving the masses in such a little time and on a pretty small budget. We educate their palates. I am curious to see how other countries take on the same challenges and what their obstacles are and how they still seem to deliver a quality meal they are proud of and the kids enjoy.
Hi Anthony!
Before I share my frustration about yesterday's episode, your travels to the Ukraine, I want to tell you that for the most part I love watching your shows, and adventures you get yourself into. You are a fun guy!
I can't believe that you have been in Kiev and Krimia, and that's all what you seen and had to eat. I grow up in the Ukraine and went to Krimia many times! Kiev has such a rich history, and so many beautiful places to see and share with the world, so does the Krimia. I believe that the food choices Zamir made were really poor, and Ukraine is not all about getting drunk on vodka. Sorry for saying this, but maybe Zamir wasn't the right guy to take you places and show u around! I have a hard time believing that he knows much about Ukraine other than where to buy vodka! And asking people if the food is from Chernobil….is so primitive. We lost a lot of good people because of that tragedy! He is such an idiot!
I really hope that next time around you experience much more than that!
Cheers!
Gala
What was the name of that place that has the strange acoustics. the guy built it with plans from aliens or something i missed the beginnining of that segment and want to find more info about it, is there anyone who caught it
The Integratron. And I'm bummed that it is getting so famous as it is now near impossible to get in edgewise there. But I'm happy for them too, because it is a wonderfully weird place run by wonderful, weird folk.
The Integratron in Landers, Ca
Does anyone know Tony's contact mail or is this the only way?
I emailed travel channel and never got a response from them.!
Tony, if you are reading this I have a proposal for you. I can show you around Tijuana, there is plenty to see, hear and eat. It is alive with the arts & culture, amazing food and scenery. It's not the Americans backyard for no reason. My grandmother and her family descendants in Loreto have lived in the same house for the past 200 years.
I am a native from Tijuana, México but now reside in San Francisco.
I moved here to study photography but visit my native town twice a year.
I would like to go back and have a photo exhibition in the future at Centro Cultural Tijuana…
Rick Bayless and the guy from bizarre foods have been there already.
Check this out: http://sanfrancisco.grubstreet.com/2011/06/rick_b…
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/09/dining/09tijuan…
Plus: They did an article on Food and Wine magazine's July issue about Baja California and México one Taste at a Time ( One full season dedicated to this region)
You could have been there first, but no one from travel channel listened to me.
I have a better inside view from my hometown, I skateboarded the streets of Tijuana during my younger years and my whole family resides throughout the peninsula.
If you're interested, let me know….
Al Capone, drug dealers, casinos, racetrack, tacos, cartels, graffiti, Nortec Collective, Border crossing, seafood, beaches, official futbol team now! (xoloitzcuintlis) etc, etc…..
Hope you get this and don't miss out, I bet you would have fun and your viewers would definitely would too.
Ohh, and my friend is from Tijuana and a line cook here in SF too!
Saludos del Norte!
Ivan
This blog blows.
really? I'm thinking anyone who would name themselves after fameho Drew Pinsky kinda blows…
You blow more. Tony rocks. You're an asshole.
EZ
tony, tripas are intestines in spanish…tripe (beef or pork stomach) is what mexicans use to make menudo
It all stems from the Aztec practice of human sacrifice. The ruling class would get the muscle meat and the vicera would be given to the masses. They could grow veggies alrignt but the population exploded and since there were no cows, chickens or pigs they turned to humans.
Got to hand it to the Mexican cooks, they sure could whip up a great bowl of Menudo and Pesole out of human innards.
Later after the Spanish arrived they brought pigs, cattle, chickens and tumbleweed. Tumble weed in indiginous to the MED and it came on cattle. I wonder why the Azteclan's didn't figure out a good recipe for Tumble weed infused soups.
Toni, Do you rember M O O WildKingdom?
Would you like a sidekick like Jim?
I'll jump on, off, or try anything!!
You can find me on FB.
In this episode, Tony stated that Tull won the 1990 Grammy Awards.
This is wrong.
It was the first year for the new category of "hard rock/heavy metal." It was the award for the year 1988.
And even though "Crest of a Knave" was released in 1987, it still got the win.
In fact, it seems the Grammy board created this category just to be able to call attention to what a truly fine musical journey that album offers the open-minded listener.
And I will say this: Farm on the Freeway is one of the best guitar-driven songs ever recorded.
I wonder if the factually dubious star of the show has even ever listened to it?
While your not beating a dead horse– more like trying to breath life into one, the fact is by 1988 Jethro Tull's best days were well behind them. By 1988 their whole universe had pretty much said bye bye. The Grammy codgers, always a decade behind popular tastes, were well within in their rights to award them with their belated hard rock award, or whatever it was. So in that sense, you are right and the cry babies in the overrated metal band, Metallica were wrong to be so upset. Maybe in this case 2 wrongs did make a right.
What I'd like to see is a proper correction offered up somehow. That was so far off factually it needs to be addressed.
Well, at least I'm not on an obnoxious spamming list after making a post.
But I'm still waiting a a satisfactory means of retraction for such a gross misstatement…
Dear skanky,
Please quit replying to your own posts. It is kind of creepy.
That's quite funny, actually. I don't think he gets it.
It's like watching a dog chase its own tail.
Great episode! I'm a bit curious now though…after watching a number of episodes where you feature various aspects of American cultural cuisine, you and your show seem to completely ignore African-American cuisine. You've dedicated a lot of time and effort traveling the world, and such, yet this one major part of your own country's culture appears to remain largely unexplored by your show. Would love to see this fixed!
William
Hey Tony,
Love your show and your sarcastic wit. Don't normally send messages, but saw the "news" about Paula Deen crying foul about your criticism of her, Rachael Ray, Sandra Lee and Guy Fieri. You called it like it is and that's what your fans like about you. You don't mince words.
These people are the equivalent of short-order cooks, NOT chefs. Paula Deen cooks comfort type food you would expect to find at a church potluck. Rachael Ray comes up with a few good things, but her over-the-top sweetie pie personality schtick is nauseating. Sandra Lee's food is atrocious (semi-homemade Pampered Chef type stuff). Guy Fieri's show is more like the Man versus Food show (BTW, that "food" will win by plugging up the arteries).
Anyway, thanks for being…Tony. Don't change for your fans or anyone else.
As with you, I never send messages either but had to respond to this "feud" that HE started. Tony is a foul-mouthed; chain-smoking; drunk!. He never cooks anything and thinks he is an authority on everyone and everything.
he is amazing! and sexy, and smart and witty. he has been in the business for a long ass time and deserves some fucking respect. and if i had the chance to get wasted smoke my head off and eat good food with him i would. id walk across hot coals in the desert to do this. you need to take a step back and try reading his book. learn a little appreciation for the man. hater
I believe Mr. Boudain quit smoking about the time his daughter was born. ( a few years ago?) I have seen him cook many times on his show. I have to assume you have not seen it otherwise you would know these statements to be true. Here's a thought, change the channel and find something more profound to get pissed about!
Have any of you actually travelled to Savannah Ga and visited Lady and Sons or Uncle Bubbas. On the menu they have Chargrilled oysters that are not unhealthy and are the best I have ever had. Maybe Anthony needs to Travel to Savannah and try to back up what he is saying. He will fail. The menus offer all kinds of healthy options. We travel over 800 miles to eat at Paula Deens and by the way we are not obese we are actually pretty skinny. Just go there you will see.
If you don't like Food Network and the food the chefs present ,don't watch them. I fail to see the reason for being hateful and spiteful just because you don't care for someone's cooking. Up until recently I've enjoyed watching Bourdain's show ..I learn a lot about other cultures and their food…but his hateful attitude towards people who act and think differently than himself is enough to make me quit watching .
Tony is pissed at Food Network for letting him go because of his foul mouth and not really teaching anything about cooking: he mainly just eats other peoples food…..I am sure after 28 years as a chef he can and does cook great dishes, just doesn't do it on his show (much.) This is all my opinion….
Hey Tony,
We live on the Upper West Side, far from the places we used to frequent as singles in the LES.
My daughter, 2, loves your show. We watch it over lunch everyday and she calls it, "Go My Nations", obviously confusing the show's name with its themes.
She loves to eat adventurously and finds your show entertaining beyond belief. Other than sliding down her favorite slide in Central Park, this is her favorite way to spend time with mommy.
Thanks for making my daughter try tripe, vietnamese noodles, and any form of tube meat. She loves you and your show. I'm usually my writerly skills to draft this letter after she pleaded. "Write Go My Nations Mommy". How could I resist?
Much love from your brethren city folk.
What a sweet charming story
Anthony, I've got to tell you and hopefully you will read this comment. I didn't particularly like you before and now I have NO RESPECT for you as what you may consider yourself a "world traveler". I've watched your shows and I can only conclude that the only way you can get a point across about food, the country you're visiting is that you can explain only in expletives! The mere fact that you constantly downgrade all of your colleagues is by bashing them. YOU HAVE NO CLASS! Somewhere in the future, the Travel Channel will cancel all of your appearances. You talk about Paula Deen and his dishes, Rachael Ray, etc., but yet you eat disgusting food such as animal "asses"! Search in your deeper soul and see what comes out!
Tony -I love you show-your wit-your insight. There are way to many people who have nothing better to do than to get hot over your comments about Paula,Rachel . and Sandra. Who cares not me not you. What I do care about is how you see the value in every culture, their food, their traditions and their life styles. The world is full of wonderous variety and I love how you appreciate it all-keep the shows coming-Thanks L.J. Fox
well i watch you and enjoy when your not eating CRAP from foreign countries like insects and such…but to attack Paula Deen and the likes is really funny since you eat a bunc h of crap a dog wouldnt eat from other countries and call it good ROFLOL
Dern them furreners.
I do not believe that I will ever tire of No reservations. Did I watch the Ozarks show over and over? No… but I can appreciate every second presented to me from a world that I could never in any way see or come face to face with.
Am I living vicariously through Bourdain? Most certainly I am. Isn't that what one does when watching any of the available run of the mill travel shows or cooking shows or what one involves themselves in when they read a biography or novel?
Critics of the show probably find Rachael Ray to be delightfully intelligent and above average in life experiences or the Man Vs. food guy to be thin…..they don't correctly identify with what they see because they themselves lack.
When Tony opens the show with psychedelic graphics and the frames click by from the cockpit of a 69 muscle car…one can certainly beware that the next hour will be "On like donkey kong".
Bring it Tony…just F-Ing bring it~!
Art defined:
Art is not a word that describes just anything that is scrawled down a page or where oil paints are spooged across the blank canvas.
Art is where when the observer sees it for the first time, a very very small voice inside speaks aloud…."How the hell did they do that". If it doesn't speak and all you hear is crickets and or white noise inside…then it is not art.
The ROME show and "U.S. deserts are works of art.
What Tony and crew bring to the table is “art” at a variety of levels.
One cannot be a decent cinematographer unless they can capture amazing still shots with a disposable camera. The video treatments just get better and better on No reservations. It is about composition. A beginning, a middle and then an end that ties back to the beginning…like a well written paragraph.
I have watched for years and actually bored a while tired of the innuendos and the worm eating, monkey brain eating episodes from around the globe. When I returned to what has always been a favorite presentation of mine I found a much more evolved Tony. Much more evolved but all the while maintaining the primal New Yorker independent unpretentious artistic "male-ness" that is Bourdain.
I watch the episodes at least two times because there is so much to appreciate from the visual artistic presentation as well as the sharing of the culture of the common man wherever he lands.
Bourdain does not patronize which is the travel channel Samantha, Rick Steve way. Bourdain does not always score with the best host when it comes time to film, but, he does show you a variety of sense and sensibilities found from people who are not film stars, celebrities and the like.
Bourdain appreciates the cracked paint on an old barn. He certainly allows you to see the dirt in the street as well as allowing the basic best from everyday common dining room tables and restaurant 4 tops to become the featured highlights that they deserve to be.
That was the whitest version of the US Southwest I have ever seen.
Great show in the Southwest. Liked everything about it. Always liked Josh and QOS, but I have new appreciation for his artistry now.
By the way, the stuff about Paula, Rachel and Guy? F 'em. Paula's just upset because you interrupted her fermented cream high-colonic, anyway.
Fermented cream high-colonic with bacon ranch dressing. Get it right asshole.
LOVED LOVED LOVED the Desert show. I am a chef, author, and drummer, and HUGE fan of QOTSA. I 'bout pee'd my pants when I saw the promo for this show. (HA! You played "Mexicola" when you were eating with Mexicans!) How can I get my hands on the Lonely T-Bird track?
"How can I get my hands on the Lonely T-Bird track?"
+1
For years I have watched and enjoyed your program. I appreciate the respect you have for different foods and the cultures that produce them.
However, I don't care for your cynical and snide remarks about other chefs, cooks, etc. It adds nothing to your show and it turns me off.
That is a shame, because otherwise you would be both aroused, and still not in on the joke.