Anthony Bourdain

THE MUMMY’S TOMB…AND OZARK NOIR

March 27, 2011, 12:49 PM  |  366Comments (3,595)http%3A%2F%2Fblog.travelchannel.com%2Fanthony-bourdain%2Fread%2Fthe-mummys-tomb-and-ozark-noir%2FTHE+MUMMY%27S+TOMB...AND++OZARK+NOIR2011-03-27+17%3A49%3A55anthony+bourdainhttp%3A%2F%2Fblog.travelchannel.com%2Fanthony-bourdain%2F%3Fp%3D366  |  Permalink

This year’s James Beard Awards self congratulatory goat rodeo/awards ceremony/chef shakedown is built around the theme of “The Ultimate Melting Pot”. Presumably, this will mean that at the mammoth food tasting, in which chefs from all over the country are dragooned into providing bites of food from chafing dishes and hotplates (for free), there will be a “multi-cultural” theme. Perhaps there will be a heartwarming video tape presentation, celebrating our brothers and sisters from around the world– a Benneton commercial, depicting cooks of many lands. But I seriously doubt you will see an increase in the number of Mexicans present. Or any other of the nationalities who comprise the backbone, heart, lungs, blood and muscle of the hospitality industry this organization claims to celebrate. I won’t be there to find out. Though nominated–along with Eric Ripert–for our limited run radio show, TURN AND BURN, I would sooner attend a Renaissance Fair in Hell. It would seem wrong, after all, given that I’ve been loudly peeing on this organization at every opportunity for years, to change my tune, now that I’m nominated for something. Maybe when they make para-legal advice for Mexican cooks a priority-or take a loud, persistent stand on the people doing so much of the actual cooking in this country, I’ll change my views. Till then? Screw ‘em.

I am, however, rooting for Ruth Bourdain to win in the new humor category. Because I’m pleasantly surprised to find the Beardies even discovering the existence of a sense of humor. Because it will be interesting to hear how the mysterious hermaphroditic on-line parody of Ruth Reichl and yours truly will accept the award if she/he wins. And because, apparently, some in the food writing “community” are said to be peeved that such an unserious, unidentified, uncontrollable–and well, funny, candidate might be honored by the purported “Oscars of Food”. It is said that some feel his/her nomination “cheapens” the enterprise. Coming from a profession whose vast majority spend their hours and days writing about “kicky new muffin recipes” , ” Pie: The Next Big Thing” or attending launches for bottled water, restaurant openings, and anywhere they can fill their plastic lined pockets with free food and swag–the whole notion of someone–anyone–”cheapening” the business sounds like a bunch of old hookers complaining about the new girl who kisses on the lips. When one of the “lions” of the food writing business–and I am NOT talking about Alan Richman–has been famously and openly shaking down the subjects of his “reviews” for free food, drinks, vacations and other things of value for years with absolute impunity, it’s hard to imagine anyone “cheapening” anything about the business. When your gold standard behaves like a shady garbage contractor, and you are complicit in your silence, you can hardly complain.

This Monday’s episode is set in the Ozark region of Missouri (with a brief dodge across the border to Kansas). I should explain that I chose this area entirely because of my respect and admiration for the works of author Daniel Woodrell, who along with many other fine books, wrote WINTER’S BONE (from which an also very fine Oscar nominated film was made). Daniel was born and raised–and still lives in the area, and in his works, and in person, he makes a good case for a longer, fuller and harder look at a rich historical and–yes–cultural area. The whole history of our country–and so much of what makes America America, both good and bad, comes from forces and conflicts that began here. From the early settlers to Civil War proto-guerilla fighters to famous outlaws, authors, musicians, Missouri is indeed a cultural touchstone. Dumb-ass hillbilly jokes ? That’s NOT the Ozarks I saw. The Ozarks are not even a mountainous region. Those of us who live in cities of the North or the West who think we know something about the Ozarks? We don’t. Something else I learned? I learned that just cause you walk in a bar and absolutely everybody is wearing hunting cammos doesn’t mean you ain’t gonna have a really good time. I may not have grown up in hunting/fishing culture (far from it) but I sure as hell am never ever going to sneer at it again. Any boneheads who make cracks about eating squirrel are telling us a lot more about themselves and how remote they are from any kind of hard times–or any understanding of those who have been through hard times–than making any useful observation. Just about everybody I met during our shoot was well familiar with the taste of squirrel. Just about everybody had been gigging for suckers at some point in their life. Nearly everyone–regardless of their present circumstances, at least remembered more difficult ones, a day when potting squirrels was what put food on the table. Men, women, children all knew how to handle a rifle if need be. And I may be a liberal, lefty, city-dwelling, half-a-socialist, blue state sort of a guy–but I have nothing but respect and affection for them. In fact, I knew, within minutes of arriving in Joplin that I was going to have a great time. Bullshit is not something to be found (or tolerated) in abundance in Springfield, West Plains, Joplin or environs. Chances are, the people you meet are funny–and wise–in a bone dry, self effacing kind of way. Everybody seems to cook–at least enough to look after themselves if need be, and there’s a respect for nature that comes from actually being close to it. Basically, you have to have your head pretty far up your own ass to not have good time in the Ozarks. Or hate beer. My only regret–and it’s a big one–is that during the making of the show, while gigging for suckers at night with Daniel Woodrell, we had a terrible accident. It was a nightmarish few moments in the dark–and in the end, one of my literary idols was badly injured. As you will see, for two or three long seconds on an out of control boat on a quickly moving river, I thought we’d lost him.

I’m writing this from Naples, where we’re examining the disconnect between the Naples of our collective imagination: the mural on the pizzeria wall, the pasta swimming in red sauce–the whole, misremembered city of long ago popular songs, Sunday gravy..did any of it ever exist? To what extent was what we called “Neopolitan” pure ItalianAmerica? I can tell you that it’s been delicious finding out. It is a VERY different Italy than what I know from my time in the North. Up there, they call you “americano”. Down here? You hear “Ameriganno”….In fact, it might surprise you to know that the dialect here is so different that the film “Gommorah”, made and released in Italy a few years back, is subtitled for Italian viewers from elsewhere. I’m having a very good time–and with pre-production guidance from–and introductions by–chef Michael White of New York City’s MAREA, OSTERIA MORINI and AI FIORI, we are being well looked after.

Posted By: anthony bourdain