My Thoughts on “A Watery Grave”
I felt the sadness of the town; it was everywhere. It was hard to feel o.k. there even during down time. There seemed to be no place to go and it felt a bit stagnant. The people were great, sweet and caring and the homes were beautiful.
The walk was difficult! I felt ill as soon as we left for the walk. The nausea and dizziness grew as we arrived and began the walk. I felt that no one really liked me (the dead) and did not really care to tell me what happened, as if embarrassed or even over it. Grabbing pieces of images and trying to put together the information was too much for me, as the illness became all consuming.
I thought to myself at one point on the stairwell, “why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself through this pain? I just want to go home!” Sometimes this work really tears you apart! The physical drain on your health, the pain that you absorb from the dead on occasion can be all consuming, to think of how many deaths I have experienced and why my body occasionally simply shuts down is no surprise. It has ALWAYS been that way; for physical mediums there is no escaping that aspect of who we are.
Yes, we can protect and we can pull from our tool box items that may help us: ensure, bananas, melatonin and on and on, as well as spiritually protecting ourselves and recovering as much as possibly, but there is no escaping the truth that this work harms us! Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually; it takes a toll and sometimes there are those moments when all I want to do is run away from it. I have tried many times before to do so. Never successfully, because it is what I am here to do; I love the dead, I love what I do and I want to help the living and the dead come to an understanding. There is no other way.
So, yes that thought came, but then it went and I moved forward. I had to help this girl, I had to understand this house and I had to deal with the evil in the backyard. Because the dead need it and so do the living!
I missed being able at this time to work with living energy via the bodywork I do; it seems to balance me. Working with the dead ONLY absorbing only dead energy is what can cause many issues.
It simply was “one of those days”
I do believe that Steve and I were able to find ways, though dramatic in nature, to help the living find peace in this situation. The son Ryan did follow our advice. That is what it is ALL about after all!