No Reservations Crew blog

To: Tony, Re: Your Recent Blog Post About Caving in Jamaica

January 29, 2008, 1:16 PM | 7Comments (4,125)2008-01-29+17%3A16%3A05no+reservations+crew | Permalink

By Diane Schutz, Producer

Tony: I love you like a brother … but after hearing you talk about the difficulty of our caving adventure in Jamaica, I needed to chime in here! I\’m convinced you\’ve become, as your British pals might say, a big girl\’s blouse.

You wrote that this was \”the hardest, most physically demanding, insanely foolhardy and irresponsible venture ever on NO RESERVATIONS\”. Really? I know your memory is somewhat selective, but can I remind you of such shoots as Malaysia, where we hauled ass through the jungles of Sarawak for 6 hours, trying to keep up with our 80-something-year-old, amazingly fit Iban guide? Or New Zealand, where we huffed and puffed up 45-degree-angle hills to hunt a 400-pound wild boar … an angry boar that could have turned on any of us at a given moment, carving us into carpaccio?

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The \”steaming\” jungle was a walk in the park compared to past endeavors. You\’re just annoyed that we had to dry-hump a log to cross the river. Though I give you credit … you successfully (and gracefully, I might add) sauntered across that log on the return, pulling your best Mary Lou Retton impression. Yeah, we probably won\’t use that footage. Dry-humping the log is funnier.

For the record: I NEVER said there would be \”hand rails and a gift shop\”. I\’m pretty sure I even included this disclaimer in the production material, taken from the Jamaican Caves Organization website:
It must always be remembered that caving is inherently dangerous. Proper precautions can greatly reduce the likelihood of injury or death, but there is a definite risk involved and this cannot be forgotten.

No? I didn\’t include that? Oops. Sorry. Still … the experience wasn\’t THAT bad, was it?

True, it was a bit of a challenge just getting in (and out) of that cave, via the vertical tree roots. And navigating down and around sharp, slippery boulders in the dark isn\’t something that any of us do every day. I especially give Todd, Zach and Paul a lot of credit … navigating the difficult terrain with a camera in one hand wasn\’t easy. You forgot to mention the part where Paul dropped a new production camera in a puddle of bat urine.

Still … the pride and enthusiasm of our guides from the Jamaican Caves Organization was contagious. I also appreciated that they brought along some very cute Peace Corps volunteers to help out (that really dishy one … what was his name?) I loved every second of it. The post-caving pictures of our group says it all.

You should have saved your muddy clothes from this shoot. We could have auctioned them off, donating the money to charities for bat guano research.

Rainbows and unicorns forever, Diane

Posted By: no reservations crew