A Not So Normal Day in Chile
Rennik Soholt, Producer
The helicopter was small…very small…and shaking. No bouncing, really. It was bouncing up and down, up and down. My teeth were rattling. Todd and Zach were sitting next to me, filming Tony in the front seat. With one large coastal updraft, Todd flew up in the air, slow-motion, “Todd-ass” blurring my vision…he landed on my lap. I bit my tongue. Todd farted. I puked in my mouth. It was 6am.
It was pouring rain and windy…our first bad weather day our whole shoot in Chile and here is Tony, Zach, Todd and myself trying to helicopter to our shooting location in this shit weather. Was this a good idea?
“Oh, no problem!” says Mr. Helicopter man. “If it’s bad, we just come down.”
“No problem,” Tony concurs, totally nonchalantly. Um, ok fine. No problem. But what does, “we just come down” mean, Tony? Keep in mind, Tony is wearing a pine-green, rain poncho and smiling. It’s weird. REALLY weird. It’s early. I didn’t see Tony have coffee. It’s pouring and we’re about to helicopter to an island and “work” all day. This isn’t usually “Tony-smiling” time. He started to give me promos (“Catch it!”) and I wasn’t even asking…IN THE RAIN! This was NOT going to be a normal day.
So where was I? Oh yeah, I puked in my mouth. I pushed Todd over to his seat. ”Film Tony. Film Tony!” I yell over the sound of the propeller, the wind, the chaos. We start circling around the islands, just off land…over the Pacific. I can’t really tell if the “circling” is intentional or not. It feels slightly “out-of-control” which can be a good thing…when not in a helicopter over the ocean in Chile! Mr. Helicopter Man points over the horizon.
“It doesn’t look good!” yells Tony as we all see over the horizon the darkest, most ominous, hurricane-like front that you’ve ever seen…from a helicopter. I guess this is the time “we just come down.” But, like, um…where, Mr. Helicopter Man? We’re over the raging Pacific with jagged f**** rocks below us?!!
But, lucky for us, we land in a clearing. Safe. No helicopter today. The rest of our crew, 3 hours away by land, are waiting for us…on a boat…ready to go to an island to film. I’m on the phone with my segment producer, Emily. She is NOT happy. We have a full act to shoot today. WHAT DO WE DO?
Well, Tony still has this shit-eating grin on his face, soaked, in that f***** green poncho. ”I guess we’ll have to go back to the hotel and have some breakfast?” he says…totally innocent looking. I’m starting to think he’s controlling more than the show content here at this point. I really don’t know what to do. Tomorrow we are flying back to the States. I don’t have a full show!
So hotel…coffee, fire. Tony tells me “Rennik, don’t worry. It’s all GOING TO BE FINE.” My crew are wet and distraught. The weather is awful. It doesn’t feel like it’s going to be “fine.” I decide to call the bosses…see if we can salvage something.
OK. I dial the States…voicemail of the executive producer on the line. ”Hello, you’ve reached (BLANK), please leave a message…”
Tony gets up and says “Well Rennik, I think I’m going to get a massage…tell me what we’re doing next…but give me a few hours, k? I’m tired.” I watch him walk away in fuzzy hotel slippers.
I’m startled by the “Beeeeeeeeeeeeep….” I hear on the other end of the line. My mouth drops to the floor. Silence. What do I say?
Oh shit…I knew it wasn’t going to be a “normal” day…
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